One day there was a human living under the groud so today he thought to lift up weights with a metle bar so he and bang he got stuck he was cold blooded he is not allowed to be hot or near the bright sun so with his got a sharp knife and cut is hands off so he went in the town and bought some and some fake hands he had a job in in the town he was working in 10 minites sudnelly it struck lightning down his name was moon and went to work in the rain…
OLOL's Finest Blog
Year 5's 100 Word Challenge Blog
Hello Oscar,
I found your human interesting when you described him as not being able to be near the bright sun. Creatures that spend much of their lives underground can have problems with bright, hot sunlight. Well done.
My suggestion is to try reading your story once written. It can help you work out where sentences start and end.
Ross Mannell (Team 10oWC)
Teacher (Retired), N.S.W., Australia